Yo Yo Yosemite


Well, after getting a random bill through our door including an item from the minibar which, unless we were skilled locksmiths or thieves, we definitely did not have anything from it.We zoomed down to reception to solve our quandary before breakfast. We managed to avoid the queues, as the hotel does have around two thousand rooms, and rather smugly secured a table. If yesterday’s pot-luck styled breakfast sounded a little bit odd I think I beat that today! There was even a boiled egg and some jam thrown in. Then with a few craftily ‘spare’ pots of peanut butter and a banana in tow we sat in the ginormous, chandelier clad lobby and waited for all the ‘aircrusers’ to regroup.

It was then au revoir to the lively streets of the city by the bay. I think I can follow in Tony Bennett‘s footsteps and say I have left a fragment of my heart there as I really did enjoy the city and its incredible atmosphere. We were then a little delayed at the airport before being allowed to board. The problem turned out to be baggage related so a few people, myself ashamedly included, had to collect a piece of hand luggage that would not fit in the belly of the plane. I had to endure the walk of shame down the aisle whist the same chirpy air hostess we had before reminded us it was meant to be a one bag per on trip. Oops.

However, my attention was quickly diverted to a rustling creaking sound coming from the panel next to luke’s head because it made me envision all sorts of scenarios involving a Gaping hole in the plane. Yet we arrived, with the plane hole free, in Fresno. Fresno is the third from bottom of a list of The cleverest places in all of America. Looks like it is the place for me then!

We got dropped off at the supermarket and everyone was given fifteen minutes to conduct a supermarket sweep, or in Luke’s case a swoop, in order to get some food to eat on the bus as we continued our journey onwards to see the Grisly Giant. I had a made-to-order flatbread, which appeared to leave my sever flummoxed. I could just tell she was thinking about how she should roll it so it resembled something presentable. I then got eight dollars worth of grapes and I munched my way through them with sense of quiet contentment on the bus. The journey took a while but it was worth it as we snaked our way through Yosemite Park. The view out of the bus window was just so beautiful. Then we stopped. We had a brief trek through enormous trees

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Then we spotted it; The Grisly Giant.
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My word, it was a giant of a tree! It was breathtakingly and magnificently stoic standing proud at the top of a small hill.  I could just picture having a tree house in the centre of the base, a bit like the one in Peter Pan, and I could live there amongst nature. Until I came across a bear, forest fire or harsh winter and then I would have to scamper pretty quickly. Also, I’m not so sure that Yogulatte would deliver that far! Oh well, nice idea in theory. After realising I am not cut out to be a tree woman, just yet, I wound my way back to the coach passing falling trees on the way back. I wonder if they made a sound?

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I made a quick stop at the shop and planned to follow the couple from holland around because  they always return with crazily cool souvenirs. One time I glanced over my seat and I could just see a stuffed shark bobbing around. Then it leapt a few feet and it suddenly became apparent that the man from Hollands head  was attached to it!  I had to stifle giggles.

Then we set off on another long drive, whilst still in the park, to see some more stunning sights, including El Captain,Dome mountain, one enormous tunnel through a mountain and the waterfall.

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I managed to finish off the grapes and even added the contraband pot of Philadelphia from breakfast into the mix. Then, feeling brave, I also ventured into the coach toilet which was no mean feat on these windy roads with a speedy coach river. I survived, just about, after bumping against the walls a few times. Then we even got to walk up to the lower level of the waterfall and it went up for ages! It is the seventh largest waterfall in the world and we were lucky to see it running as usually it is dry this time of the year.

We got a few minutes to explore and Luke began to scramble over the rocks so I left him to it. Well I tried to follow and then retreated, my dress wasn’t the best apparel to be clambering over rocks, no matter how fun it was. Luke momentarily disappeared and I was slightly worried but then his head popped up over a huge rock and then i think he must have had a moment of delusion because he tried to walk over the side Luckily he saw the seven-foot drop first and decided against it. We then strolled back to the bus and were given bottles of water by our friendly bus driver. Unfortunately, we then had to wait for ages for a couple who think they are Steven Spielberg and David Bailey and are consistently late, so we couldn’t stop at our final destination.

We then enjoyed the drive back through the park and played a bit of swapping chairs so people could take the perfect picture, which is always hard to do in a moving vehicle that is constantly going around corners. After passing an innumerable amount of trees and stunning views we finally made it to a ranch for dinner just as it was getting darker.

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It was an interesting building with huge fires, chandeliers, antlers and wood everywhere. We ordered our food and a bottle of wine whilst sipping cold water from jam jars, 
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which I thought was a very nice touch. Then the wine certainly made everyone merrier! The starter was delicious and was a soup with barley, mushrooms and beef.

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Then the mains came. They were massive! I had ordered chicken parmigiana that even came with a huge dollop of garlicky mash and a bed of noodles!

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I didn’t finish it all and concentrated on the wine instead. I take back my comments about California wine as Luke and I shared a delicious bottle. Their was great banter on our table and much discussion about whether the waiter reminded us of someone, elvis perhaps?

As it turns out he was indeed an Elvis impersonator.

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He decided to sing to the newlyweds and anniversaries amongst the group. One couple had been married just two weeks and one for forty-five years! However, elvis announced that Luke and I had been happily married for six years. Umm I must have missed that particular walk down an aisle! I shouted out my protest,well I had shared a bottle of wine, and then we stapled a dollar bill to the wall with ‘Elvis‘s’ wrongful assumption written on.

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Apparently this was the way they kept a tab in the olden days. We then walked out with a lovely older lady who reminds me of my Nana, who teased us about being married. I reciprocated especially when Luke held her hand down some stairs outside as it was very dark and all you could see were hundreds of stars whilst everyone’s giggles filed the air. Blame it on the wine was said a few times! I told her that we had only been married for six years and already he is running off with another woman! Well, we are going to Vegas tomorrow. Maybe I should have written something different on the bill now stuck forever on the ranch’s walls such as “I’m getting married in the morning” perhaps?
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